A Tumblr Crackfic Epic AU - A Study in Playing With Dragons

It is a little known fact that Dragons, once they have reached a certain age and come fully into their power, are able to change their shape. 

Now it must be said that Sherlock was as sensitive to flattery on his abilities as a dragon as any girl could be of her beauty.  Bilbo discovered this fairly early though it must be to Bilbo’s credit that many of the complimentary things he’s said to Sherlock were honestly and sincerely meant.  His mother, the famous Belladonna Took, had taught Bilbo that kind words should never be held back.  Perhaps the world would be a far better place if folk bit back their insults a little more and were a little more free with nice things to say. 

Of course, we all know that John Bilbo Watson Baggins is perfectly capable of composing something both pithy and suitably eloquent, often using language not fit for little hobbitlings’ ears to hear, but that is, of course, aimed at someone (read:  the Sandymans and the Sackville-Bagginses) who, alas, thoroughly deserve it. 

Of course, the hobbitlings of the Shire quickly learned to sweetly flatter and cajole their Dragon and favorite playmate.  Perhaps it must be said that while Sherlock appreciated compliments, he actually treasured the ones he received from his Hobbit companion and the little ones far more - though, of course, he will never say that out loud. 

As always, this began with Bilbo’s favorite little Dragon-minders - young Harry and Greg, the Widow Phynn’s two delightful boys. 

Bilbo had gone to call both boys and Dragon in for elevenses - Sherlock proved especially fond of the lavender honey that the Widow Phynn had brought him.  He was already smelling the distinct odor of popped corn and guessed that the boys (read: Greg)  had already cajoled certain Dragons into using dragon-fire for creating said snack. 

The Master of Bag End expected to find two boys and one overgrown, red dragon.  Also a certain quantity of burnt corn ears. 

Instead, he was confronted by two boys and one, odd, black dragon who, oddly enough, moved and acted remarkably like an overgrown pussycat.

“Look, Mister Bilbo!  Sherlock’s turned himself into a Night Fury!” Harry exclaimed.

“Night Kitty,” Greg corrected his elder brother.  “He’s a dragon and a kittycat!”

In Bilbo’s amazement, elevenses were forgotten in favor of cajoling a preening dragon into showing them what else he could shape-shift into.  So far, Sherlock stuck stubbornly to different types of dragons and Greg was quite delighted when Sherlock consented to shift into a what he called an “Umizumi” dragon from the Far East. 

“Just promise me you’ll change back to your regular shape when you come back inside,” Bilbo told Sherlock, half in jest, half in earnest.  “I wouldn’t want to let some stranger in the door, now would I?”

Sherlock sniffed.  “John, if you would but observe, you would always know me, no matter what shape I happen to be wearing at the moment.”

“Well, we can’t be all consulting detective-dragons, now can we?”

Of course, that prompted a massive Dragon-Sulk of Epic Proportions and poor Bilbo was quite thoroughly exasperated with his Dragon housemate until he pointed out that he was, at the very least, trying to learn Sherlock’s “Science of Deduction.”  So Sherlock opted to test Bilbo’s skills by appearing in various shapes at Bilbo’s door.

Bilbo, at this point, would like to state for the record that he can be in no way held responsible for his ensuing fit of hysterical, delighted laughter, upon finding a dragon-turned-into-an-adorable-tiny-kitten on his doorstep. 

Apparently, Sherlock was in fact capable of shifting to shapes other than different dragon species. 

Sherlock, at this point, would like to state for the record that he did not enjoy being picked up and cuddled by one delighted, kitten-loving hobbit. The purring could be in no way taken against him!

It must be said that Bilbo’s ability to always tell whether or not it was Sherlock or one of the children palming off a decoy on him was less due to his observational skills and more to a certain instinct.  Bilbo could never explain why but most of the time, all he had to do was to look at the creature’s eyes and its expressions and he would justknow that it was his mischievous, easily-bored Dragon housemate come to play.  As usual.

There was, however, one shape that Sherlock could take on that Bilbo had never seen. 

It so happened that Harry and Greg were looking for Sherlock, being as that it was Market-Day and they were, once more, the assigned Dragon-minders.  It should not have been hard for two little hobbitlings to find an enormous, red-scaled dragon but considering said dragon had an ability to shape-shift, perhaps that was not such a surprise. 

Greg was worried that they were getting a little close to the stream and while he and Harry enjoyed playing in the water as much as any little boy, their Mum would be very cross if she found out that they had gone to the stream without an adult.  Their Mum, like any good parent, wanted her boys to have fun but she also wanted them safe and while Harry was the big brother, Greg felt that little brothers were also obligated to look after their older siblings too. 

It was near the stream that they found the strange hobbit.

He was taller than most hobbits, with very dark curly hair and when he turned to look at them, he was, surprisingly, as fair as the boys imagined an Elf to be from Mister Bilbo’s stories.  He wore a long black coat over the normal garments of a proper gentlehobbit and around his neck was wrapped a familiar blue scarf. 

Gray-green eyes regarded the boys keenly and when he greeted them, the boys finally recognized him from his voice. 

“Mister Sherlock!  A right proper hobbit you look!” Harry told him.

“Do I?” Sherlock said with a faint smile.  “Then my experiment worked out very well then.” 

“Won’t Mister Bilbo be all surprised?” Greg said, preparing to help Sherlock play his favorite game.  Last week, it was Greg who suggested that they leave a friendly dark-furred squirrel on Bilbo’s doorstep, to see if they could get the Master of Bag End to believe that his Dragon housemate had opted to use that shape for the day. 

But when he said that, an odd, sad look passed over the dragon-turned-hobbit’s face and he asked the boys, quite seriously, if they would mind keeping this secret from Mister Bilbo a while longer. 

The boys agreed.  

Later on, when they managed to have Sherlock tell them a new story about the Consulting Detective and his Blogger living in far-away Lon-Don Town, the boys imagined that the Consulting Detective resembled Sherlock in his hobbit form. 

***

Note the First:

I’m a huge Japanese anime fan and I blame various anime like Inuyasha, for example, for clueing me into old Japanese and Chinese legends of shape-shifting dragons that can assume human form at will.  *wink*

Note the Second:

As always, this is lovingly dedicated to sabrina-phynn and her two lovely boys.  Also dedicated to random-nexus, currently being a Tentacle Monster. :P  It’s fun being cracked, yeah?

PICTURE SOURCES:

aithine.org for Sherlock

Fanpop.com for Toothless - How to Train Your Dragon

Thorin Oakenshield.net for Bilbo