The Tumblr Crackficlets Headcanon - Cousin Adrian

One might say that solving the Mystery of Cousin Adrian was Sherlock Holmes’ very first case.

He was actually older than Mycroft - in fact, Mycroft and Sherlock remembered already seeing him as a young man, not a teenager, as boys.  Tall, deep-voiced, dark-haired and exceptionally handsome, he cut a rather dashing figure at family gatherings. 

It was said that he was the heir to an ancient title in Romania, though Cousin Adrian was oddly reluctant to speak of the years he must have spent there.  His English accent was normally impeccable, though he would, at times, have the faintest hint of his native accent when unusually stressed. 

He was, however, quite kind and very patient with young Sherlock’s questions, though he proved to be rather artful in dodging some of his more direct inquiries.  While Sherlock learned a great many things about observation from Uncle Jasper, it was Cousin Adrian who taught Sherlock the art of deflection and dissimulation. 

He also taught Sherlock and Mycroft a great deal about fencing and swordplay.  Cousin Adrian was quite expert with a sword. 

As the years passed, he never seemed to get any older.  Amusingly enough, the family would begin to comment on Sherlock’s so-called remarkable resemblance to him.  And inevitably, Adrian and Sherlock would be referred to as “identical twin cousins.” 

This used to drive Sherlock to utter distraction, mainly because the whole idea was so ludicrously improbable, not to mention something straight out of those ridiculous soap operas Mrs. Hudson enjoyed.  And dear God help him, John got hooked on the bloody things too.

(Sherlock is not sure how Mrs. Hudson and John got hooked on South Korean soap operas, of all things, but apparently the storylines were engaging and the costumes in the period pieces were gorgeous, according to Mrs. Hudson.  Sherlock only knew all of this useless data because he was quite utterly amazed that his boyfriend and their landlady were happily willing to sit through several subtitled episodes!)

But to get back on topic - well, there were some distinct points of resemblance between Sherlock and Cousin Adrian.  Everyone, naturally, noticed the cheekbones and the fact that they did share the same eye color and piercing stare. In fact, the resemblance had become so pronounced when Sherlock hit sixteen, that it rather proved detrimental. 

Suffice it to say that there was a bit of mistaken identity and a Certain Idiotic Evil Minion mistook one cousin for another and Sherlock got kidnapped.   It was rather fortunate, however, that Cousin Adrian was able to track Sherlock down before things became Completely Untenable (or as John might have put it - “fucked up beyond all recognition”). 

However, there was the matter of getting out of The Castle and dodging its traps and puzzles and Sherlock, thankfully, proved very adept in these sorts of things.  Cousin Adrian was rather proud of him.

Uncle Vlad, however, was Most Displeased to find out that a young cousin was embroiled in what he called “The Ridiculousness I have already sworn off!”  His rage, to put it mildly, was rather… er … awe-inspiring to witness.  Suffice it to say that there were a great many Evil Minions and Would-be Demon Summoners and Apocalypse Bringers opting to look for new occupation in some other Chaos-Haunted Castle. 

Young Sherlock, however, was rather enchanted with the gory contents and inhabitants who lived in Uncle Vlad and Cousin Adrian’s Romanian Castle and ended up staying there for another week, at the very least. 

It is to be hoped that Cousin Adrian Fahrenheights Tepes will make it to Sherlock and John’s wedding, though it may be a bit touch and go with Uncle Vlad.  He claims that he has some business to tidy up in Romania.

It is suspected that Uncle Vlad may be brewing up some other prank or the other against Uncle Jasper, who has been consistently winning their private Prank War for as long as anyone in the Holmes Family can remember. 

And yes, there will be Pranks Played by Terrifying Old Men at Sherlock and John’s Wedding.

***

Note the First: Did I just make a Castlevania crossover?  Uh…. HELL. YES?

Note the Second: Yeah, I was a bit inspired by Fred Saberhagen’s cracktastic Dracula/Sherlock Holmes universe too.

Note the Third:  South Korean soap operas are terrifyingly addictive.  Trust me on this. 

Note the Fourth:  Am I implying that there is some connection between a certain ex-Istari and Lord of all Vampires - Christopher Lee - *koffkoffkoff* - in the Holmes Family?  Er…. maaaaaybe?

PICTURE CREDIT:

Genya Arikado artwork is by Ayami Kojima, illustrator for a lot of the Castlevania games.  Image found in the Castlevania Wiki.

Sherlock Image from fanpop.com