maeglinhiei
maeglinhiei:

hils79:

Okay, what?

Sebastian you are a fucking goober. Are you telling us that the Wiener Soldier travels in the Wienermobile?

GOOBER ALERT! GOOBER ALERT!  ALL HANDS ON DECK! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

maeglinhiei:

hils79:

Okay, what?

Sebastian you are a fucking goober. Are you telling us that the Wiener Soldier travels in the Wienermobile?

GOOBER ALERT! GOOBER ALERT!  ALL HANDS ON DECK! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

This wasn’t fair.

See, this was how it was supposed to work.  Bucky was going off to join the Foreign Legions, make enough money for a good nest egg or so, hell, maybe find some actual fucking treasure, bring it home to Steve and they’d live happily ever after.

The original plan was Epic Pining until Steve found himself a classy, sweet girl who’d see Steve for the exceptional fella that he always was and maybe Bucky would bury his broken heart and find a girl of his own and it was a Good Plan.  It was a Smart Plan, considering the times.  Except Steve put the kibosh on that Plan by crawling into his lap and kissing the breath out of him and okay, nope, the new Plan was that they were going to Paris or basically all over the world and maybe they still couldn’t be married but they’d pretty much make a go of it together. 

So Bucky leaves Steve with his cousin Tony, because Steve is an aspiring archaeologist and the Starks have connections to all these academic communities and stuff.  Steve was going to be safe in a library with all the ancient books and history and Bucky could rest easy that his adored, trouble-prone punk could actually stay out of danger, because, hey, library.  What was dangerous about that?

He spoke too soon.

So Tony Stark, that obnoxious, cheating little prick, wins the ancient Egyptian puzzle box off Bucky in a poker game.  Bucky had meant to give it to Steve but Cousin Tony beats him to it and of course, of course, Steve’s the one who figures out the puzzle box and finds the map to the lost city of Hamunaptra.  Steve wants to drag Bucky along into this adventure across the desert, to find ancient books, as if there weren’t enough damn books in the library already!

"Think of the knowledge, Bucky!" Steve wheedled.  "All that ancient lore, the history!  That’s a treasure worth more than gold.”

"Sign me up for the gold, ‘coz.  You can keep all the books you want," Tony volunteered.

"Shut up."  Bucky tried to stand his ground.  He was not going to give in to big blue eyes and a grumpy pout.  "We are not going.  Cursed place.  Across the desert.  If we don’t die of thirst, God only knows what kind of ancient Egyptian ghosts or ghoulies or whatever we’ll be waking up in that place!  We ain’t goin’!"

Steve crosses his arms and sets his jaw in that familiar way that means Trouble and Fuck It All We’re Doing the Thing.    “Ancient Egyptian superstition.  Plus, people are already shooting at us for having this box alone.  I ain’t gonna get run off by bullies, Buck.”

Yeah.  There you go.  Fuck it all we’re doing the thing - Bucky sighed, mentally reviewed where they could get themselves the best gear with Tony’s money and finally said, “You’re a punk, you know that?”

"Jerk.  Disappear without a word for three months, not even giving me a letter to let me know you ain’t dead.  The idea was that you survive to come back to me, remember?”

"Oh, here we go.  Lovebirds a’twittering!  I am OUT of here," Tony flounced out, which was a blessing, because that meant Bucky could stride over and lift his idiot punk up for kisses.  For once, Steve didn’t punch his shoulder for the manhandling and just winds his arms around Bucky’s neck, kisses back with everything he’s got. 

"We’re going, then?" Steve asks, a bit breathless and prettily flushed but still determined.

"We are and you promise me that you are not going to run off to get yourself killed.  Death by Egyptian ghoulies - Christ, Steve, only you could get into that kind of mess."

Steve grinned.  “I promise.  Just don’t go get yourself killed either.  End of the line, remember?”

"For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…"

"James Buchanan Barnes, are you actually proposing to me?”

Bucky grinned.  “I’ll get around to it as soon as I have a ring to give you.”

Bucky will get around to proposing, eventually.  They just had an Undead Mummy to deal with first.

- tbc -

Note:  I CRACK WHAT I WANT.  Also after this post, I had to put my money where my mouth is.  Hello, trippypeas!

jeza-red
nocek:

I’d love to animate it properly but I don’t have time :< 
But there are two bonus frames below :3 



"He’s stolen my robot!  Steve, your boyfriend is stealing my robot!”
"He’s not stealing your robot, Tony.  Bucky and Dum-E are just friends, that’s all."
"Well, you better look again, Capsicle, because your Russian BFF has a new BFF and it ain’t you."
"He’s actually Romanian."
"…."
"Oh.  Hi, You. You want me to draw you something? Oh.  Draw You.  Sure."
"AAAAAARRRGGH!!!! Super Soldier Boyfriends are STEALING MY ROBOTS! PEPPER!!!!!"

nocek:

I’d love to animate it properly but I don’t have time :< 

But there are two bonus frames below :3 

"He’s stolen my robot!  Steve, your boyfriend is stealing my robot!”

"He’s not stealing your robot, Tony.  Bucky and Dum-E are just friends, that’s all."

"Well, you better look again, Capsicle, because your Russian BFF has a new BFF and it ain’t you."

"He’s actually Romanian."

"…."

"Oh.  Hi, You. You want me to draw you something? Oh.  Draw You.  Sure."

"AAAAAARRRGGH!!!! Super Soldier Boyfriends are STEALING MY ROBOTS! PEPPER!!!!!"

A Blanket Fort Headcanon - Himura Kenshin
For those who have not yet experienced the glory that is the Rurouni Kenshin manga or anime (please, for the sake of your souls, avoid the second OAV as it is pretty terrible as far as Kenshin&#8217;s character development is concerned and I choose to ERASE it from memory), please give it a watch.  It is awesome and I have good reasons as to why I have chosen to bring Kenshin over to meet Steve and Bucky. 
The TV Tropes character sheet for Kenshin Himura or Himura Kenshin (following Japanese convention of putting family name first, given name second) pretty much covers Kenshin in canon.  Here are the Blanket Fort additions:
a.  Kenshin is pretty much the red-headed, Japanese version of Steve Rogers - especially tiny Steve.  As Nat puts it, Kenshin is generally a sweetheart but like Steve, is a Deadpan Snarker, hates bullies and despite that itty bitty size can and will kick your ass.
b.  Kenshin&#8217;s alter ego is the Hitokiri Battousai (Hitokiri = assassin; Battousai = master of battou-jutsu).  Towards the end of the nineteenth century, Japan had a major revolution, in which there were a number of people who rose against the Shogunate (the Shogun being the ruler of Japan, ostensibly running the country for the Emperor) and wanted to essentially kick out foreign influence, remove the Shogun from power and restore rule to the Emperor.  Kenshin, at fifteen years old, was on the rebel side and was their deadliest assassin.  Yeah, fighting for justice and against the bullies that was the Tokugawa Shogunate?  HELL. YEAH.  Kenshin would sign up for that. 
c.  Of course, things went to hell in a handbasket pretty fast and Kenshin eventually realized the horror that he&#8217;d become and the fact that he&#8217;d pretty much become nothing more than a weapon for his handlers (Sound familiar?).  I won&#8217;t go into the Epic Tragedy that gave Kenshin the cross scar on his cheek but suffice it to say that Kenshin gave up his assassin life and began wandering Japan trying to help people and atone for all the lives he&#8217;s taken.
d.  There&#8217;s just one thing.
Hitokiri Battousai wasn&#8217;t just Kenshin&#8217;s alias.  It became a persona/alter ego.  Kenshin has a very distinct speech pattern in his &#8220;sweet&#8221; mode - the exclamation of &#8220;oro&#8221; and referring to himself in a humble third person mode (this unworthy person is Himura Kenshin&#8230;.) are the visible signs.  But when he drops that speech pattern and his eyes turn amber? RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE.  
The Winter Soldier appreciates Hitokiri Battousai.  They both come from similar places.  And these days, Battousai is no longer anyone&#8217;s weapon.  He is now who he means to be - someone who protects and uses lethal force only when necessary.  
e.  In the Blanket Fort Headcanon, Kenshin is the reincarnation of an ancient Dragon spirit, who founded the sword school of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu.  This is the reason why the Kenshin born during the Meiji era once again found his way to a Master of that school and re-learned his ancient skills.  This is also the reason why that ancient spirit woke up in Kenshin and allowed him to survive beyond a normal human lifespan. 
f.  Kenshin currently lives in Bag End Apartment.  He is both an MD and a licensed therapist.  His wife Kaoru runs a kendo school.  She picked up immortality from him too.  
g.  Kenshin and de-serumed Tiny!Steve ended up bonding over kendo.  Bucky has pretty much given up as he knows he&#8217;s doomed to be surrounded by itty bitty Badass Adorables. 
h.  Battousai and Bucky&#8217;s Winter Soldier persona get along great too, especially when it comes to epic asskicking of HYDRA agents. 

A Blanket Fort Headcanon - Himura Kenshin

For those who have not yet experienced the glory that is the Rurouni Kenshin manga or anime (please, for the sake of your souls, avoid the second OAV as it is pretty terrible as far as Kenshin’s character development is concerned and I choose to ERASE it from memory), please give it a watch.  It is awesome and I have good reasons as to why I have chosen to bring Kenshin over to meet Steve and Bucky. 

The TV Tropes character sheet for Kenshin Himura or Himura Kenshin (following Japanese convention of putting family name first, given name second) pretty much covers Kenshin in canon.  Here are the Blanket Fort additions:

a.  Kenshin is pretty much the red-headed, Japanese version of Steve Rogers - especially tiny Steve.  As Nat puts it, Kenshin is generally a sweetheart but like Steve, is a Deadpan Snarker, hates bullies and despite that itty bitty size can and will kick your ass.

b.  Kenshin’s alter ego is the Hitokiri Battousai (Hitokiri = assassin; Battousai = master of battou-jutsu).  Towards the end of the nineteenth century, Japan had a major revolution, in which there were a number of people who rose against the Shogunate (the Shogun being the ruler of Japan, ostensibly running the country for the Emperor) and wanted to essentially kick out foreign influence, remove the Shogun from power and restore rule to the Emperor.  Kenshin, at fifteen years old, was on the rebel side and was their deadliest assassin.  Yeah, fighting for justice and against the bullies that was the Tokugawa Shogunate?  HELL. YEAH.  Kenshin would sign up for that. 

c.  Of course, things went to hell in a handbasket pretty fast and Kenshin eventually realized the horror that he’d become and the fact that he’d pretty much become nothing more than a weapon for his handlers (Sound familiar?).  I won’t go into the Epic Tragedy that gave Kenshin the cross scar on his cheek but suffice it to say that Kenshin gave up his assassin life and began wandering Japan trying to help people and atone for all the lives he’s taken.

d.  There’s just one thing.

Hitokiri Battousai wasn’t just Kenshin’s alias.  It became a persona/alter ego.  Kenshin has a very distinct speech pattern in his “sweet” mode - the exclamation of “oro” and referring to himself in a humble third person mode (this unworthy person is Himura Kenshin….) are the visible signs.  But when he drops that speech pattern and his eyes turn amber? RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE.  

The Winter Soldier appreciates Hitokiri Battousai.  They both come from similar places.  And these days, Battousai is no longer anyone’s weapon.  He is now who he means to be - someone who protects and uses lethal force only when necessary.  

e.  In the Blanket Fort Headcanon, Kenshin is the reincarnation of an ancient Dragon spirit, who founded the sword school of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu.  This is the reason why the Kenshin born during the Meiji era once again found his way to a Master of that school and re-learned his ancient skills.  This is also the reason why that ancient spirit woke up in Kenshin and allowed him to survive beyond a normal human lifespan. 

f.  Kenshin currently lives in Bag End Apartment.  He is both an MD and a licensed therapist.  His wife Kaoru runs a kendo school.  She picked up immortality from him too.  

g.  Kenshin and de-serumed Tiny!Steve ended up bonding over kendo.  Bucky has pretty much given up as he knows he’s doomed to be surrounded by itty bitty Badass Adorables. 

h.  Battousai and Bucky’s Winter Soldier persona get along great too, especially when it comes to epic asskicking of HYDRA agents. 

I Didn’t Sign Up for This or Why Bucky Barnes is a Magnet for Itty Bitty Temperamental Justice-Fighting Fellas

Steve Rogers isn’t sure why Nick Fury rolled his eyes heavenwards or why Phil Coulson…. yeah, finding out Phil was alive was an Epic Discussion all on its own, which involved a lot of swearing, punching and a surprise makeout glomp from both Clint and Natasha.  

"What? I’m Russian - we can get overwhelmed by our emotions once in a while,” Natasha said serenely.

"Huh," said Phil in atypical fashion, the red flush creeping up over his neck notwithstanding. 

But back to the topic.  Phil Coulson actually giggled when the name “Dr. Kenshin Himura” came up on the list of SHIELD-approved therapists to work with Bucky.

"There is absolutely no way in hell that Himura-sensei is secretly HYDRA,” Phil had said.  “None.”

"And you guys are fucking evil, you know this, right?” Clint had guffawed.  “Because do you have any idea what kind of epic clusterfuckery you’re gonna unleash on the world once the Winter Soldier - “

"His name is Bucky," Steve interrupted.

" - still the Winter Soldier, Rogers and I’ve read your boy’s files. Even back when he was your Sergeant he was a motherfucking badass.  So, the Winter Soldier and the Hitokiri are going to get along like a house on fire and we’re all going to be doomed.  Doomed, I say!”

Steve glanced at Natasha, hoping for sanity and also an explanation. "Hitokiri?" 

Nat had buried her face in her hands, but only because she was getting the gigglefits as well.  She did, however, try for some sanity.  It was a brave attempt.  “Barnes and Himura are going to get along fine.  Himura’s tiny, sweet-natured, very kind hearted, hates bullies and has a temper that only wakes up when evildoers are about.”  The word evildoers rolled drolly off Nat’s tongue.  “Kind of reminds us of certain defrosted fossils that we know and love, except that Barnes definitely likes blondes instead of redheads.”

Steve went pink.  He still stubbornly held on to the original question though.  “Hitokiri?”

Nat smiled.  “I’ll get you a history of Japan during the Bakumatsu.  It makes for interesting reading.”

So fine, Steve ended up with the gigglefits too once he got caught up.  Bucky would be in safe hands.

***

The Winter Soldier - because he wasn’t quite Bucky Barnes yet, though intellectually, he knew that this was his original name, before he’d been broken into the Asset - looked down at kind violet eyes and a sweet, unassuming smile. 

He also noted the swords that stood on its stand behind the doctor’s desk.  There were three - two katanas and one wakizashi - and all three of them seemed used and well-cared for.

"Oro?" said Dr. Himura and maybe, just maybe, the Soldier had the briefest flash of memory, because Himura did, on a superficial basis, resemble a certain tiny, blonde, blue-eyed man that the Soldier would always consider to be The Mission, the only Mission that mattered.  Even if Steve Rogers wasn’t that tiny

(adorable)

fierce little asthmatic anymore, he still needed protecting and the Soldier was grimly determined to not fail this mission.  

The doctor’s hands were callused and his handshake firm.  And something in the way he moved told the Soldier that this man, for all his credentials as a healer, was not a stranger to war. 

"It is good to meet you,"  Dr. Himura said kindly.  "I will be Himura-sensei here in this place, though I am Kenshin to all my friends outside this office.  Your friends have given me a name, though you have yet to claim it for your own.  Do you wish to do so?”

A choice.  The Soldier was so unused to the fact that he could have choices now, had the freedom to make them. 

"Barnes will do for now," he said finally.  "Though maybe I’d like to be…. Bucky one day, though I don’t see how that’s possible.”  

"We all change and we build on those changes as we move forward.  But you may yet reclaim that old self and still keep moving forward anyway.  I am willing to help you try.  But there is no shame in failure.  You are your own self, neh?

The Soldier found himself saying Yes.  He could work with that.

***

Inevitably, HYDRA thought it would be a good idea to snatch their Asset back while he was in the middle of therapy with what they thought was a harmless, easily disposed-of civilian.

They soon learned that Kenshin Himura did not keep his swords for decoration.  They also learned that the Hitokiri Battousai still knew how to use the paired swords of his trade and he wouldn’t hesitate to use the sharp edge, not if someone under his protection was on the line. 

***

"Steve, baby, are you sure you didn’t have a redheaded Japanese twin brother who ended up in Meiji-era Japan somehow?"

"Oro?"

- end -

Note:  I CRACK WHAT I WANT.  MWAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Okay, so I have a headcanon similar to a few fan fic authors that Kenshin Himura survives Meiji era Japan to the present day.

I also have a headcanon that Kenshin would later devote himself to the healing arts and would, in the course of his very long life, be both an MD and a licensed psychiatrist.

And you know, I can so see him being a trusted headshrinker for SHIELD.  What better therapist for one Winter Soldier than the deadliest assassin of the Bakumatsu, Hitokiri Battousai?

Okay, so I have a headcanon similar to a few fan fic authors that Kenshin Himura survives Meiji era Japan to the present day.

I also have a headcanon that Kenshin would later devote himself to the healing arts and would, in the course of his very long life, be both an MD and a licensed psychiatrist.

And you know, I can so see him being a trusted headshrinker for SHIELD. What better therapist for one Winter Soldier than the deadliest assassin of the Bakumatsu, Hitokiri Battousai?

upallnightogetloki
"It’s 1 in the afternoon, Steve!’
"Shhh…"
"It’s okay. My captain deserves long naps."

A little known fact about Steve Rogers is that he turns into an actual five year old without enough naps.

This has nothing to do with the serum. Bucky is just used to basically manhandling his cranky, nap-deprived best friend and hauling him off to bed. It was a lot easier when he had been a foot shorter and a hundred or so pounds lighter but Bucky had been surprised when he could still lift his Captain easily if he needed to, at least back during the war.

(Bucky now knows that the real reason for this now was whatever the fuck was that Zola did to him from the first experimentation but he’s not going to dwell too long on that little fucker, may he rot in hell forever. He’d much rather focus on Steve.)

The problem is that sleepy Steve is one of the sweetest sights on God’s green earth and sleepy Steve is absolutely irresistible. His punk will look at him through those impossibly long lashes, eyes warm and inviting and fine, there is only so much a man can take, okay?

So even though it’s just one in the afternoon, Bucky will sigh and cuddle up next to his baby, kiss the back of his neck for good measure, slip a hand underneath his shirt to briefly stroke warm skin, and nap right next to him.

And if they get around to other, more energetic activities after naptime, well, Bucky is definitely not complaining.