You just know that when Aurora is old enough to start dating, the classic scene of “Dad cleaning his shotgun” is going to be BEYOND epic.
I mean, Bucky’s probably going to be reassembling his favorite sniper rifle right there. And Steve’s going to be pointedly polishing his shield.
And Thor - sweet gods of Asgard - can you imagine Uncle Thor?
"You will treat my goddaughter with the respect and kindness she deserves or we will have words.”
"Forget the words, princess. Actions speak louder.” And Bucky pointedly clicks in and then pointedly checks the scope on his sniper rifle.
"Curfew," Steve says mildly. And he’s going to say more but Aurora flails.
"Dad, I was hoping you’d be the Sane Person in the family!”
"I tried, sweetheart. I really did. But you are our only baby, you know.”
"Dad, you know that kicked puppy look only works on Poppy. And please don’t say anything that would be TMI!” This last statement was directed at Bucky with a patented Barnes glare.
"Don’t fuck things up, use a condom, no glove, no love, okay?"
"CLINT BARTON!" Steve and Bucky bellow.
"Aw," Tony pouts. "You guys are starting in on the sex ed advice and the threats?" He pats Aurora’s date on the shoulder. "Just remember kid, if you want any kind of future after you graduate college…."
"Just don’t upset Aurora and Hulk will be happy too, okay?"
"Uncle Bruce, I swear to god…."
There’s the sound of crunching popcorn. Aurora turns on Sam.
Sam shrugs. “Baby girl, you already got all the advice you need. I’m just here for the popcorn.”
And Nat, Tetya Natalia just winks at Aurora because the two of them already have had the Talk and Aurora knows what’s up.
In the meantime, Aurora’s date, who happens to be this nice boy named Peter Parker, sheepishly holds his hands up and gets all earnest.
"It’s just a movie and pizza, I will be respectful and we will be home by curfew, Captain Rogers. I promise.” And then: “If I actually do something stupid, you don’t need to dogpile on me. I’d beat myself up, see?”
"Awww, he’s adorable,” Nat purrs.
And Aurora just sighs and goes, “Bye, family, I love you.” And she and Peter run off for their date, which goes incredibly well, considering. ;)
A second date will be in order.